Frustration
by Igiveup
Summary: Takes place during Series One, potentially AU. After an argument with Alex, Gene finds himself comparing her to Sam.


**_Hey, all! I'm very happy because I was finally able to buy Series One of Life on Mars on DVD. Set me back $50.00, but it was well worth it! This story takes place during series one. None of these characters belong to me. I always love feedback._**

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"But how will you know?"

"I'll just---I'll know, all right?"

"No, not all right. I want a real answer. If you are so convinced that all this is nothing more than a dream despite how real it clearly is, how will you know when you're really awake?"

"I'll be home."

"Will you really? Or will you still be asleep, just dreaming that you woke up?"

"Don't say that..." Alex's eyes welled up with tears.

Gene sat back, sighing in exasperation. He and Alex were in Luigi's, and after a few glasses of wine Alex had once again started in on her nonsense about how all of this was nothing more than a dream and that Gene wasn't real. Sam Tyler had made similar off the wall comments, but it wasn't non-stop. At least he had managed to turn it off every so often. Annie Cartwright had been one of the few people Sam confided in. Gene was starting to admire the amount of patience she had had. If Alex didn't stop with this nonsense soon, he was going to go mad.

This conversation he was currently having with Alex was very much like one he had overheard between Sam and Annie. Annie hadn't had any more luck getting through to Sam than Gene was getting through to Alex.

"I'll just know," Alex's voice interrupted Gene's thoughts. "I can't explain _how _I'll know I'm really home, but I'll know it when I get there."

"You are a stubborn piece of work, you know that? You keep babbling on about how real everything feels here, about the wind through the trees and other poetic garbage, then you insist this is all some vivid dream. Just why are you so convinced that this isn't real when it clearly is?"

"Because it isn't! I remember home, I remember my daughter Molly. The last time I hugged her, I could smell her hair. The shampoo she used was supposed to smell like apples, but it smelled far more like candy than real fruit..." A look of longing appeared in Alex's eyes.

Gene cleared his throat, starting to feel uncomfortable. "Bolly," he said in a softer tone. "You're saying the same things about your home that you are about here. What exactly is it that makes your home real and this place a dream?"

"I know my daughter is real!"

"I didn't say she wasn't," Gene slammed his glass down on the counter with such force he was surprised that it didn't break. "What I'm trying to ask, and what you're not answering, is why she is real and me and everybody else here isn't?"

Alex threw up her hands. "Why am I even having this conversation with you?"

"I've been asking myself the same question." Gene stood up.

"Go home, Bolly, get some sleep."

"I know I'm right," Alex said quietly, but stood up anyway.

Gene watched to make sure she made it up the stairs safely, then left. Once behind the wheel of the Quattro, he rubbed his eyes. He really wanted to know how Annie put up with this same nonsense from Sam.

Gene was trying his damndest to be patienet with Alex, but she was making it so bloody difficult. It was times like this that made him wish Alex were a bloke--- at least he could actually hit Sam when the latter started to grind his nerves. It worked both ways too, since Sam could, and did, fight back.

Gene didn't have that luxury with Alex. It made things very difficult.

The similarities between his two DIs were as striking as their differences. Both had a very smug holier than thou attitude, but Alex's proved to be even more grating on the nerves than Sam's had been. It was annoying enough coming from a man, coming from a bird it was ten times worse.

Also, Sam at least took his job seriously. All this constant "By. The. Book," his severe hatred for bent coppers. Sam didn't care how many enemies he made in the process of setting things to what he believed was right. But he was aware that there were consequences to his actions.

Alex, on the other hand, seemed to have moments where she was treating everything, including the cases, like it was some little game. There'd be this little smirk on her face, as though she wasn't taking things seriously. She'd go off and get falling down drunk at Luigi's and invite some bloke to spend the night with her; making a complete fool of herself in front of her fellow officers. She was their superior, they were supposed to re guard her with respect. If she didn't take herself seriously, why should they? She really didn't help things by coming in with a cheery, "Good morning constructs," either.

And yet... there were times where Gene would almost swear that the two of them had made some kind of connection. He would finally be talking to a sane person. Alex would find the solution to the case that they'd been working on, or she'd extend some sympathy to the victims. She'd take things seriously.

Same thing had happened with Sam. In his case, his cracked behaviour eventually ceased all together. He had still been a pain in the arse, but at least he was a sane pain in the arse. He and Annie had even gotten married.

It seemed to be taking longer with Alex though. Sam had had Annie to help him. Gene was nothing like her, but Alex certainly didn't seem to be able to confide in anyone else. But maybe he could get her to become normal too.

If she didn't drive him completely round the bend first.

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**_The end._**


End file.
